Badge #10934


It may sound stupid. 

Cold, even. 


But somehow I thought the next one

wouldn’t hurt so much. 

That somehow I’d be built into

this strong enough,

resilient enough ‘being’,

as a result

from the last several blows

called loss

—we’re suppose to get use to it, right? 


I figured I’d be able to endure

the ones to come;

with a stout stature,

a stoic face—


—as if the next one stripped away

wouldnt be so much

a punch

to the stomach, a stab

to the back.


I imagined I’d have enough air

in my lungs

from the space between, not to be


come next time around. 

Yeah, I’d be ready. 



I was a fool to think so.







Police Officer Rogelio Santander #10934

End of Watch:

April 25, 2018  


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